My bf returned from his family vacation today, and seeing him was such a relief for my near worn-out heart. However, spending the last few days alone may have done me some good. Not only was I able to sort everything out, but I was able to just think about the potential implications for my life, and his, this virus could potentially have. I'm not as worried as I was a week ago, but the same fears still exist. In many way, it's like a looming fog that refuses to lift its horrid veil.
Seeing him though put me a little more at ease. The strength he has shown through all of this has inspired me to keep strong. In fact, when we talked on the phone last night, I asked if he'd leave me if the results came back positive. Although this isn't the most romantic response, it did make me feel better. He said, "I'm not letting you make me go through this alone." Like I said, not the most romantic response, but it did make me feel better.
We met for lunch today and seeing him just made me feel at ease for the first time in days. Instead of worrying about whether or not I'll live to see my 40s was no longer an issue. It was like time froze again, but this time in a good way. You know, at 23 I've never met anyone that makes me feel the way he does. Hell, I never though I'd meet someone that I still enjoy coming home to each night. My pessimistic self had grown used to the idea that I'd just be alone, forever dedicated to my work. Fortunately, that has all changed. By the way, I'm not that pessimistic, I just have my moments.
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